Real Widows

In the Office of Readings today Saint Paul used the expression “real widows” when writing to Timothy. “Honor the claims of those who are real widows.” He’s speaking about people - in this case, women - whose needs are genuine. He means to warn Timothy that many will come to him claiming to be in need, but who are really only giving themselves to “selfish indulgence.”

He even instructs Timothy, “Refuse to enroll the younger widows, for when their passions estrange them from Christ they will want to marry. Besides,” he says, “they learn to be ladies of leisure who go about from house to house becoming not only time-wasters but gossips and busybodies, talking about things they ought not.”

All of those things are said within the larger context of his instructions about the importance of caring for actual widows, those women whose husbands have died and have no one to care for them. The purpose of the passage is to remind Timothy to give pride of place in his heart to those who are truly in need, truly crying for help. But it is a word that helps me this morning also to refocus my own priestly heart in general.

There are many people who come to the parish expecting special treatment from the priest. They are men and women, young and old. They usually mention something about how much money their family has given to the church in the past, expecting that their legacy be honored. They try to hire the priest as a kind of personal servant to them, for whom they’ve paid beforehand. These are not real widows.

Still more people become personally attached to the priest, seeking not so much to grow spiritually but to benefit from some emotional or therapeutic satisfaction, which is always temporary and always ends in disappointment. Neither are these real widows.

But there are people whose needs are genuine. They are usually quietly waiting in the crowd, humbly expecting to be overlooked. These are the ones to whom a priest should move with preference and affection, even if it means upsetting those who come to the church not for assistance but for their own vainglory and selfish indulgence. +